Response 6

#ethics

Class: PHIL-282

Notes:

For this week, the prompt is

In Book VIII of Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle identifies three "species" (or kinds) of friendships. Virtuous friendship, he says, is the ideal, but there are also imperfect species of friendship based on utility or pleasure.

An interesting aspect of friendship is when one person is superior to another in some relevant way, or, put differently, when the friendship is asymmetrical. Reflect on an asymmetrical relationship that you have, and compare it to what Aristotle says is virtuous (or complete) friendship.

Friend group:

My friend, or my aymmetrical friendship?

While to my perspective not inherently bad, asymmetrical friendships, where one of the individuals gives more than he gets, can more easily lead to complaints, especially when comparing to the ideal friendship, where problems rarely occur thanks to that one-to-one aiming of each other's good. Asymmetrical relationships reflect the unequalness of the involved individuals either in virtue, honor, wealth, age, etc. A classic, but yet hard to understand, example that I have experienced and reflected on is that of a relationship where financial imbalance exists, one partner contributes more to the, sometimes shared, finances, leading to possible complaints of an uneven economic resource dynamic. One may feel incapacity or undeserving of the other person and the other may feel the other way, giving more than he expects to. When terms are unclear, misunderstandings arise since one can expect something that the other may take for granted and vice versa. These complaints in a chronic basis can be detrimental to that friendship.

According to how Aristotle states it in Nichomachean Ethics, a perfect friendship is a state between two good people alike in virtue, who love each other for each other, as stable characters, which requires time and habit. In this kind of friendship, each seems the friend as another self and goodwill becomes active beneficence. Unlike utility and pleasure friendships, the ideal friendship is not incidental, therefore it does not change when the benefit, what one gets, changes, and in this way each side gets what each signed up for, making an enduring friendship. But since perfectly balanced relationships aren't always possible, Aristotle introduces the idea of proportional exchange, where each side gives according to its capacities/dues. This is the way an ideal friendship would react to unequality, and would set clear ground to the involved individuals on knowing what to expect and avoid the relationship to be affected.

Asymmetry and Proportion in Aristotle's ideal Friendship

While not inherently bad, asymmetrical friendships, where one of the individuals gives more than he gets, can more easily lead to complaints. Compared to the ideal friendship, where both aim equally at each other's good, imbalance generates tension. These relationships reflect the inequality of the involved individuals either in virtue, honor, wealth, age, or status. One example I've reflected on is that of a friendship where financial imbalance exists, where one partner contributes more to the, sometimes shared, expenses, leading to possible complaints of an uneven economic resource dynamic. One may may be feeling insufficiency or undeserving of the other person and the other may feel the other way, frustrated of giving more than expected. When expectations are unclear, one might take for granted what the other values deeply, and over time these unspoken differences can be detrimental to that friendship.

According to Aristotle in Nicomachean Ethics, a perfect friendship is a state between two good people alike in virtue, who love each other for each other, as stable characters, which requires time and habit. Such friendships are stable and enduring because they are based on mutual goodwill rather than utility or pleasure, which are incidental, and therefore change when the benefit, what one gets, changes. But since perfectly balanced relationships aren't always possible, Aristotle suggests a "proportional exchange," where each side gives according to their capacities. This balance provides a clear ground and ensures both friends understand what to expect from each other, preventing resentment and preserving a state of equilibrium within the relationship. In this sense, even an unequal friendship can approach the ideal when both sides act according to virtue and implement proportional exchange.